Being in a relationship with someone who isn’t in a relationship with you hurts as much as heartbreak. It is sad when and if a man keeps a woman around without being honest or expressive about what he wants.
There are guys who intentionally keep a lady around (in his life) without any form of commitment. These guys do this for many reasons and we will be looking at a few of these reasons.
Sometimes, this action can be so confusing especially when you already like him or are in a relationship with him. As a woman in love, you could be hurt by the fact that he isn’t taking your friendship or relationship to another level. For some women, they may speak to him about it and maybe even take the bold step to take the relationship to another level.
Whatever the case may be, it is wise to first know why he doesn’t want to have you as his girlfriend. It is important to know what he thinks about you and plan for the both of you.
Some Reasons Why He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
1. He Doesn’t Want To Be Lonely
When a guy is afraid of being lonely, he hangs on to a woman whom he knows will be available. He just keeps her around so that whenever he wants company, he calls on her and she readily avails herself.
This guy mostly keeps you around not because he likes you so much but because you are easy to get and would always be there for him. He probably knows you like him a lot and he uses this information to his advantage.
2. He Is Insecure
Guys get quite insecure about themselves and would always give a woman the vibe that they want them around just to massage their masculine ego. Not being relevant is something a guy would naturally not like therefore he will feel uneasy about this.
In order to assert his place in the world and amongst his friends, he will always want someone around who will help massage his ego. He tries to hide his fear and insecurity by always having you around and thereby feeling important.
3. He Has Gotten Used To Your Presence
This is a habit that he isn’t quite ready to let go of. When a guy has gotten so used to having you around, letting you go becomes a problem. He wouldn’t even want you to have another favorite person so he won’t have to share you.
When a guy has gotten so used to having you in his space and always wants you around, he finds it difficult coming to terms with you moving on so he finds ways to keep you around. He surely will not be happy to let you go so you will just be his little golden fish in his vase.
4. He Enjoys Sleeping With You
As long as sex is involved in your relationship and he enjoys having sex with you, he will not let you go. It does not matter if he has another woman in his life. He enjoys sleeping with you and he won’t want to miss out on it.
Whenever you oblige a booty call, you give him more reasons to not let you fly. He just keeps you around to warm his bed. He may even let you hang with him and his friends but will not take the relationship further.
This is one reason even married men cheat on their wives; they have that one girl who satisfies their sexual desires in ways their partners don’t. In this case, you are that girl and you are not useful for anything else other than satisfying his sexual needs.
5. He’s Using You To Pass Time
He is probably fresh out of a relationship, healing and getting ready for another relationship but in the meantime, he has you. He does not see himself dating you but he doesn’t want you out of his life.
You could be friends with sexual benefits or just friends but that’s just it. He does not see you as someone he can date but he doesn’t see you out of his life yet because you are a great distraction
With you, he doesn’t feel the pain of the heartbreak so much and he is also rehearsing for his next relationship that won’t be with you.
6. He Doesn’t Find You Interesting Enough To Date
Guys love women who push them and engage their minds in interesting things. A man would naturally lose interest in a woman who does not add value to his life.
If as a friend, you discuss nothing of great importance other than girlie things and gossip, he definitely won’t be interested in you.
Therefore, if you show no signs of being an interesting partner or one who can impart knowledge in him, he won’t fancy you so much. He probably will only use you to warm his bed and nothing more.
Guys are very attracted to women who have values, goals, and dreams and who work hard. They would naturally tilt towards an interesting woman with vision and adventure.
7. He Is Scared Of Commitments
A guy who has been hurt badly before may take so much time to heal and be shy of commitments during the time. However, he would be open to having flings every now and again but without strings. He wouldn’t want to commit for fear of a repetition of the heartbreak.
It could also be that he is scared of hurting you. He knows he isn’t mentally ready to date yet and so would not want to start something with you knowing he may just end up hurting you.
8. He Is Trying To Avoid The Drama With Break-ups
When a guy feels your friendship is more valuable than chasing a relationship with you, he won’t want to take it further. Sometimes, it is better to leave your relationship as a mere friendship so as to avoid the drama that will come with an inevitable breakup.
Not all relationships end on a good note and the guy probably does not feel the drama of an eventual breakup is worth the stress. In such a case, it’s best for both of you that the relationship is left as it is.
9. He Is A Leech
A guy who is used to you paying for his stuff without being in any form of commitment with you would not want to end things with you. He also won’t want a relationship with you but he wants you around for the finances. This guy is termed a leech and we know what a leech does.
Also, guys believe when they begin to date a girl, they automatically take up responsibilities bordering expenditures. With this in mind, he wouldn’t want to ask you to be his girlfriend. He will rather be your friend, watch you carter for yourself and maybe him and enjoy you, your company, and your money.
10. He Is In A Relationship With Someone Else
Most likely this guy has someone else you do not know about. He wants you around because you offer one or more of the above but he also has a serious relationship somewhere.
Now, he is probably not honest with you about this or he must have told you ‘I will soon break up with her’ or ‘She is far away and I need a company close’ or some other sorry tale to keep you around.
I hope when you find out the truth, you will be brave enough to move on with your life and move on with your life. Nobody deserves to be used in the guise of friendship or relationship.
Hopefully, this article helps you and opens your eyes to why you are still in his life without him seeking to take the friendship further. Good luck with your decision on how to handle the situation.